All that i want
by smokin'upoutside
Summary: will stephanie ever get the child that she wants? one-shot. song-fic. read&review please. thanks.


_**disclamier:** i own nothing, shame._

song: "I would die for that" by Kellie Coffey.

This is for **SuperDooperMario**, who is pretty darn awesome if i do say so myself and has always been nice enough to read my fics and leave me awesome feedback which makes me want to right more. :]

this fic is totally AU. :]

**READ&REVIEW.  
Thanks.**

* * *

_I've been given so much,  
A husband that I love  
So why do I feel incomplete?  
With every test and check-up  
We're told not to give  
He wonders if it's him  
I wonder if it's me._

"It'll be fine honey."

"You said that last time."

Sitting in the doctors lounge, again. You feel helpless, you promised her the world and everything she wanted and now, when it comes to it, you cant. She wants a baby, she would give anything to be a mother and you know this.

You've tried, you spent two years trying to conceive, convinced that this time would be it, it would work. Only to find out it didn't.

It did once. Twice actually but you both had no idea the second time. The first time was a complete shock and miracle all in one. Stephanie had gotten pregnant and you both couldn't be more excited, but that didn't last, 26 weeks in, something went terribly wrong.

**[Flashback]**

"Steph, honey you home!?"

Paul walked through the large front door of their newish home. With a baby on the way they decided they wanted a home further out of the city, with a large garden and a place where their child could ride a bike.

He walked through to the kitchen, no sign of her.

He went to check upstairs, she was probably sleeping, she had been tired an awful lot lately, what with working so hard and being pregnant. Paul reached the top step and sensed something was wrong, nothing looked wrong, but he could sense it.

Walking into their bedroom the feeling got worse, like something out of a horror movie. He noticed the covers were pulled back a little, she _had _been sleeping. He turned and noticed the bathroom door slightly ajar.

"Steph, babe?"

Opening the bathroom door he saw Steph…and blood.

A lot of blood.

**[End Flashback]**

Stephanie had to have an emergency C-Section to deliver the baby. A baby boy. A perfect little baby boy. He survived three days before his organs eventually gave up and he sadly died.

She was never the same afterwards, she spent three weeks at home, no talking to anyone. Thankfully Amy managed to get her talking again and she began to get back to her normal self. But nobody saw the real her.

The real Stephanie that acted hard as nails but would cry as soon as she got through the door of her home, grieving hat she everything wanted and what she had lost. The Stephanie the would spend hours looking through clothes catalogues, taking time to look at baby clothes and accessories then close it quickly when you walked in the room, and the same woman that would scream at you because she blames herself for not being able to have children. She kept apologising and telling you to leave her, divorce her because if you stay with her you will never be a happy or ever have the chance to be a daddy.

Even if you could never be a father to her children, you would never leave her, she means the world to you. She is your heart and soul. You love her with every fibre of your being.

Leaving her was not an option. You told her this over and over again but she would still wake up in the morning, stunned that you actually stayed the night.

Two months passed and she came round to the idea of trying for another baby. But now, your sitting here in the same doctors office again, hoping that this time it works.

IVF,

its costly but you would give an arm and a leg if it if meant making Stephanie happy because right now, its killing you to see her like this.

_All I want is a family,  
Like everyone else I see  
I won't understand it  
If it's not meant to be._

"C'mon Liam, walk to auntie Steph."

"Steph, trust me, ive tried everything, he wont walk on his own."

"Clearly he has your lazy genes then."

"That hurt McMahon. That hurt."

You laugh along with your best friend, holding her 14 month sons hands, trying to get him talk walk on his own.

He was the most beautiful little boy in the world and you wish you had one of your own. But you had come to accept that maybe, it was never going to happen.

"Are you sure he is Matt's, 'cause he blonde Ames…dunno if you noticed but…"

"Steph! Don't say that in front of him, he'll get confused. And of course Matt is the father!"

You both laugh again. You love teasing her about that, everyone does. Both Amy and Matt have dark hair but somehow their son is very blonde.

"Im just saying, maybe you were drunk.."

"Shut it Stephy."

_Cause I would die for that  
Just to have one chance  
To hold in my hands  
All that they have.  
I would die for that_.

"Well, im shocked."

You watch your wife interact with her godson. She doesn't know your watching, you stand at the door of her office watching her sitting on the floor, toys surrounding her and Liam while Matt and Amy are off kicking ass in the ring.

Liam continues to babble some incoherent phrases and crawl around the floor as Steph pretends to understand what he is talking about.

He lets out a squeal and points at the door.

Your busted.

_And I want to know what it's like  
To bring a dream to life  
That kind of love,What I'd give up!  
I would die for that_.

"Who is it Liam?"

You walk through the door and smile widely as you pick up the little boy crawling towards your feet.

"Hello little man. You having fun with aunt Steph? Yes, im sure you are."

Stephanie smiles widely at you. Walking to her Liam struggles to get out of your arms and into hers.

"What are you doing in here? Your match is next." She says as she cuddles Liam close.

"What? Cant a man come and see his beautiful wife?"

"What do you want?" She gives you that what-are-you-up-to look and smiles.

"How are you?"

She puts Liam back on his play mat and looks at you. "I think im okay."

You put your arm around her and kiss her head. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, we just have to wait right? I mean, its in there, lets just hope it works."

"Yeah, we just have to wait."

_Sometimes it's hard to conceive,  
With all that I've got,  
And all I've achieved,  
What I want most  
Before my time is gone,  
Is to hear the words  
"I love you, Mom."_

"Well it seems congratulations are in order."

Your heads turn sharply to face the doctor.

"What?"

"Congratulations. There is your baby." The doctor points to something on the screen, it cant be bigger that penny.

Its your child.

At home you realise something is wrong, Stephanie hasn't spoken since you left the hospital.

"Honey, you okay?" She turns to face you, a smile on her face.

"Yeah."

She walks up the stairs without saying another word, _yeah right, fine my ass_ you think as you follow her up the stairs.

"Steph whats…" You look at her, lying in the middle of the spare room, the room you were going to use as a nursery the first time. Her hand is laying on her stomach as if protecting the child growing inside of her.

"What if this goes wrong?" She whispers.

"Steph…"

"What if this one goes wrong, just like the last one? I couldn't live with myself, im not strong enough to go through all of that again." her breathing gets slightly erratic as she starts to panic. You lay down beside her, you hand covering hers.

"It will be fine. Nothing will go wrong this time. I promise."

"Don't make promises you cant keep." She whispers back.

_I would die for that.  
Just to have once chance  
To hold in my hands  
What so many have  
I would die for that._

**5 years later:**

"Mommy wakes up! We made you bekfast!"

You awake to the sound of your son screaming at you and jumping on your bed.

And then you daughter joins in.

"Mama wake up! Its good, trust me!"

"Connor what did I tell you about jumping on the bed?"

"Sorry daddy."

You turn around to the sight of your incredible husband trying to carry everything while your kids surround you telling you what they made and asking if you like it, its not even near you yet but they are asking already.

"Okay kids, calm down, let Mama eat."

"Happy Birthday babe." Paul tells you, kissing you softly before pulling away to the chorus of "eww" from your four year old children.

"Thank you," You mouth to him before turning to your twins.

Twins. Two children. You had two children. Not one. Two. At the same time. You were ecstatic when you found out the news. Stunned. But ecstatic at the same time.

You never believed you'd ever have one child let alone two.

"Kids, you forgot something…"

"No we didn't mommy. Daddy said your not allowed coffee." Kelsey tells you before Connor adds;

"Yeah. Daddy said it hurts the baby."

You roll your eyes before your husband adds his two-cents. "Yeah mommy, coffee isn't good for the baby" He says before rubbing his hand over your six month pregnant bump and stealing you're a slice of your toast.

"Hey!"

"Daddy! That's mommy's! Stop it."

You watch the twins fight for the half eaten slice of toast, before the clean-freak side of you gets involved.

"Kids, stop it. You'll get crumbs everywhere."

"Yeah kids! You'll get crumbs everywhere." Paul repeats while finishing the toast.

"And if you do daddy with have to clean them up."

"What?"

"Ha-ha daddy has to clean up!"

You laugh along with your children as Paul leans in and kisses you again.

"Anything for you…"

* * *

_yey. comments please. :]  
the wee button over there. _

**merci beaucoup. (y)**

J.x


End file.
